When I sat down to write this blog, my first ever, I was faced with a serious problem: I had no idea what to write about. I've been trying to think about what shaped my beliefs, but I think its one of the most unfair questions ever. The only conclusion that I kept coming back to was that my beliefs have always been with me, I was just indifferent to them until God opened my eyes.

 I know that God has always been with me. He's been in my house forever. I recited my prayers as a kid, and read my First Bible, and enthusiastically celebrated his birthday.  My mother was a Sunday school teacher and would constantly tell me about Jesus and how awesome he was. I even paid attention-sometimes. My mother has given me the summary of every book on living in Christ's name that she has ever read; her favorite book to quote was Your Best Life Now, by Joel Olsten. These recitations became commonly known in my house as "getting all book on me." It happened so often I probably recite Joel Olsten in my sleep.

Although my mom meant well, her attempts to open my eyes to God were met with resistance. I don't know if it was just the tween in me, but I felt like she was shoving the Bible down my throat. I believed in God, sure. I had no doubt that the Bible was true, but God seemed like someone for my mom and her sisters. Only the truly passionate could understand God's word and have a relationship with him. The rest of us would just have to put up with their preaching.

                It took me completely by surprise when god opened my eyes. I don't remember what time of year, or even the time of day, but I'm pretty sure it was a Sunday. I was sitting alone in my basement, braiding my hair and watching a movie on TNT. The movie went to a commercial, so I started flipping through the channels looking for a five minute clip to entertain me. I landed on The History Channel and never finished the movie. It was a program about the end of the world. The show explored how different religions and cultures believed the world would end, but most importantly, when the world was going to end. The Christian belief was explored, and the scripture was cited as was Native American tradition, Chinese prophecy and even a super computer. It was only an hour long and I don't remember much about the program, but what I do remember was that all of these different sources agreed on one thing: the world ends in 2012. Now, I don't believe that the world is going to end in 2012 because of an hour long show on the History channel, but that's not the thing that's important. The important thing is the question that show forced me to consider.  What if the world did end in 2012? Would I would be ready for God's final judgment? The answer was a staggering NO!

                CRAP!

                I went upstairs extremely worried.  In my room I started pacing, thoughts racing through my brain.

                 I'm not ready, what if a meteor hit tomorrow? Sure I believe in God, but that's not enough! I don't know God, how can I possibly get to know him in such a short period of time? I need to do something with my life! I'm not going to have enough time to do something with my life! I have to go to college! What am I going to do?

                Then, I had a mini realization: pray stupid! I don't know God, but it's not too late is it? Anybody can pray right?

So I did.

It was a simple prayer. I merely asked God to help me know him. I asked God to open my eyes and help me to see him in my everyday life.  I wanted so desperately to feel him and know that he was real.

The following morning, I'll admit that I didn't remember my panic attack from the night before, but I did remember my prayer. Whenever I thought of it, I would pray my prayer again, and slowly, over a couple of weeks, I started to see God. HE WAS EVERYWHERE! He was there in the morning as the sun rose, when I didn't get hit by a car crossing hwy 7, even when I he saved me that last brownie from the tray. I saw him in movies, T.V, cereal boxes, and I heard him in songs. Hairspray! Turned into a religious experience with the song "I can hear the bells." Not only did God answer my prayer, he was everywhere and he wanted me to be happy! He wasn't just for my mom, and suddenly her speeches didn't seem so stupid. God is for everyone, he's everywhere, and above all, he loves you! I can hear the bells!

Sweet, God loved me. What now? What did he want me to do? The answer to that question came easily. I knew that I wanted to share my recent awakening.  I wanted people to experience the same sense of security and confidence that I had been given.  I also had a ridiculous desire to travel and see the world, so why not do it in the name of God? He showed me the way, as I was sure he would, and here I am. I can't wait to share the word of God! I am passionate about removing from people the misconceptions I once had because God is for everyone, he's everywhere, and above all, he loves you! Every person everywhere should know that.